Why We FIXATE
Yep, we’re all doing it.
“Some days, I swear I spend way too much time obsessing over stuff I never used to—my skin, my weight, whether I’m ‘keeping up’ or doing enough. And honestly? It’s exhausting.”
maison 1973 creator, Nic Tierney
Our HIDDEN Clues
There’s a moment in our mid 40s when we start obsessing over things we never gave a second thought to before. Those fine lines near our eyes, the way our jeans suddenly feel a little tighter, the friendships that don’t quite fit anymore. We catch ourselves spiralling—Googling skin treatments at 1am, researching “best haircuts for women over 45,” or debating if we should quit our job and run away.
Sound familiar? Welcome to midlife.
But here’s the thing—these obsessions aren’t about vanity, crisis, or overthinking. They’re clues. They’re signals that we’re evolving, growing, and reassessing what actually matters.
So, let’s break it down: What are we obsessing over, why do we do it, and what does it really mean?
Our SKIN (And That ‘What Happened?!’ Moment)
The Obsession: Suddenly, we’re inspecting every fine line, questioning our collagen levels, and wondering when exactly our skin decided to stop bouncing back the way it used to. Enter the late-night deep dive into retinol, laser treatments, and the eternal debate: to Botox or not to Botox?
What It Means: It’s not just about wrinkles—it’s about visibility. Our skin is the most public sign of aging, and society has conditioned us to believe that looking ‘older’ equals fading into the background. But here’s the real power move: aging isn’t a loss—it’s a becoming.
Reality Check: The Australian Longitudinal Study on Women’s Health (ALSWH) found that while many women experience body dissatisfaction in midlife, those who focused on self-care over self-criticism reported higher levels of confidence and well-being (Source: ALSWH).
Solution: Instead of chasing youth, here at maison 1973 we’re chasing radiance. Hydration, nourishment, and glow-enhancing skincare are what we actually obsessing over now. Look into niacinamide, retinol, vitamin c, pro-vitamin B5 and SPF, these are our staples. (P.s “Environ has been my skincare product of choice for over 20 years – since I was in my early 30’s”- Nic, creator maison 1973)
Our WEIGHT (Even If We Never Cared Before)
The Obsession: That “midlife middle” sneaks up on us, and suddenly, we’re questioning every carb. Our metabolism isn’t what it was, and hormones seem to have their own agenda. Cue the overanalysing: Should I go keto? Is fasting the answer? Will lifting weights change everything? How much protein is enough? The list is ENDLESS!
What It Means: It’s not just about weight—it’s about control. Our bodies are changing beyond our will, and that can feel unsettling. But midlife isn’t about shrinking—it’s about strengthening. Checkout our Tips For Midlife Fitness article for more detail and tips.
Reality Check: Research from The Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health in Australia shows that midlife weight gain is normal due to hormonal shifts, but movement and mindful eating (not extreme dieting) are key to maintaining energy and well-being (Source: Jean Hailes).
Solution: Shift from “how do I lose this?” to “how do I feel best in this body?” Focus on movement that brings joy, protein-rich meals that support muscle, and clothes that actually fit this version of you.
Career & Purpose (The ‘IS THIS IT?‘Moment)
The Obsession: Even if we’ve loved our work for decades, something shifts. We start questioning: Do I still enjoy this? Am I making a real impact? Is there something more? The thought of staying in the same role for another 15 years feels…suffocating.
What It Means: We’re no longer in the proving stage of our lives—we’re in the purpose stage. Midlife is an awakening, a chance to realign work with values.
Reality Check: A global study from McKinsey found that women in their 40s and 50s are increasingly pivoting careers, not because they have to, but because they want to—seeking passion, autonomy, and impact (Source: McKinsey).
Solution: Instead of fearing change, embrace the shift. Whether it’s a career pivot, a passion project, or setting firmer boundaries, redefine success on your own terms.
FRIENDSHIPS (The Great Re-Evaluation)
The Obsession: Some friendships feel stronger than ever, while others…sadly, not so much. We start wondering: Do I actually enjoy spending time with this person? Or have we just been friends forever? This is a tough one and something very close to our maison 1973 heart, as we have found ourselves in this space more than once over the past few years.
What It Means: We’re craving depth over obligation. Midlife friendships should feel reciprocal and nourishing—not like a social to-do list. Our time and energy are precious and we feel bad for saying no. It’s important we set ourselves some boundaries, even with our friendships.
Reality Check: The Australian Institute of Family Studies found that midlife women who actively invest in meaningful friendships report higher emotional resilience and life satisfaction (Source: AIFS).
Solution: Let go of guilt if some friendships fade. Prioritise connections that uplift, energise, and inspire.
What We WEAR (And The ‘WHO Am I Dressing For?’ Moment)
The Obsession: Style in midlife is a full-blown identity crisis. We find ourselves torn between wanting to stay current and not wanting to look like we’re trying too hard.
What It Means: Our personal style is evolving, just like we are.
The question isn’t “What’s in?” but “What feels like me now?”
Reality Check: Studies show that when women feel good in their clothes, they report higher confidence and life satisfaction, regardless of trends. Style is about self-expression, not external approval. A study by Simply Be found that 66% of UK women believe that how their clothes fit is the most significant factor affecting their confidence, while 55% prioritise comfort over following current trends.
Solution: Find your uniform. Effortless, chic, and you. Invest in quality, fit, and comfort, and let go of the idea that fashion has an age limit.
The Maison 1973 Takeaway:
We don’t obsess because we’re losing something. We obsess because we’re awakening to what actually matters. Our skin, weight, careers, friendships, and wardrobes—these aren’t just random fixations. They’re signposts guiding us toward more clarity, more depth, more joy.
So, instead of fighting these obsessions, let’s get curious about them. Because midlife isn’t about shrinking. It’s about expanding.