Second GUESSING
Why are we waiting for permission?
“I used to wait for the right conditions. Now I realise it was the waiting that kept me stuck. Most of what I was waiting for? I could’ve given to myself all along.”
creator of maison 1973, Nic Tierney
Maybe SOON But Not Quite Yet
There comes a moment, somewhere between sipping our morning coffee and scrolling our socials, where we realise we’re still waiting. Not for anything dramatic, necessarily. Just waiting…for something to shift.
For the right time. For permission. For more clarity. For less chaos. For life to slow down or speed up. For the stars to align or the mood to strike.
And maybe no one told us, but we didn’t need to wait at all. We know this pause intimately – and all too well.
The maison 1973 woman is accomplished, curious, thoughtful, generous. She’s held many roles. She’s crossed off plenty of lists. And yet, she still finds herself stuck in the in-between from time to time—that “maybe soon, not quite yet” place that feels a little like holding her breath.
So what are we waiting for, really? We know this all too well, firsthand – here’s our take on it.
The MYTH Of The Right Time
There’s a seductiveness to the idea that the right time is still ahead of us. That things will feel easier, clearer, more secure when the kids are grown, the savings account is healthier, or we’ve finally figured out what this next chapter is meant to look like.
But the truth is: the right time rarely announces itself. It doesn’t get delivered like a present or appear like a neon sign. Often, it comes disguised as a quiet nudge. A little dissatisfaction. A whisper of desire. A longing for more.
And yet we wait. Because waiting feels safe. It allows us to fantasise about possibility without risking the mess of action.
We need to embrace the uncomfortable and learn to still be ok with taking a risk. At the end of the day, we need to weigh up our appetite for risk. For some, this is a lot more than others – it weighs heavily on their mind.
The old saying “you won’t know unless you try” is there for a reason. What are you wanting to try and you keep putting off, waiting for the right time? What if that right time never came, would you look back with regret?
The ILLUSION Of Readiness
Here’s something that might feel familiar: I’ll write the book when I feel more inspired. I’ll take the risk when I’m more confident. I’ll wear the black denim jeans when I lose five kilos.
But what if readiness isn’t a prerequisite, but a result? What if we don’t feel ready until we start anyway?
Waiting for confidence is like waiting for the rain to stop before you dance. You might miss the song.
We need to ask ourselves, what does ready actually look like then?
The Unwritten RULES (But Who Actually Wrote Them?)
So much of our waiting is tangled up in invisible expectations. Be polite. Be patient. Be grateful. Be appropriate. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t ask for too much.
But who decided these were the rules? And why are we still following them in our forties, fifties, and sixties?
Maybe it’s time to write new rules. Ones that sound like:
You can be grateful and still want more. You can be polite and still say no. You can be appropriate and still be bold.
What If We Already Have PERMISSION?
The maison 1973 woman doesn’t need someone else to sign off on her life. But somewhere along the way, many of us internalised the belief that we can only act once we’re endorsed. Approved. Invited. Validated.
And it’s exhausting.
So here’s the quiet rebellion: give yourself permission. To go after the thing.
To start the thing. To walk away from the thing. You’re allowed. Even if no one claps or notices or agrees. Especially then. Just DO THE THING!
The WAIT Costs Something
This part is hard. It’s something we have grappled with several times. But it’s the truth.
Sometimes waiting feels noble. Like we’re being responsible or sensible. But often, it costs us more than we realise.
Waiting can cost us time we won’t get back. Opportunities we let slip. Joy we delay. Experiences we think we need to earn.
It can also cost us parts of ourselves we haven’t prioritised in years: creativity, sensuality, ambition, play.
And midlife is not the time to lose those. It’s the time to reclaim them. Ask yourself what is it costing you if you don’t go for it?
SO What Now?
This isn’t a manifesto about quitting your job or booking a one-way ticket to the Amalfi Coast (though, hey, if you’re called to… do it!). This is about the small, sacred shift of stopping the wait.
It’s about finally buying the paint for that project. Making the call. Pitching the idea. Starting the side hustle. Wearing the outfit. Launching the thing. Saying what you mean.
It’s not about urgency. It’s about alignment. You’re not late. You’re just no longer waiting for someone else to lead.
So let’s ask ourselves:
- What am I postponing, and why?
- Who told me I had to wait?
- What’s the smallest step I could take this week?
- What would I do if I believed I was allowed?
Not everything needs to happen today. But some things do need to begin.
And beginning doesn’t require a ceremony. Just a yes.
Let’s stop waiting to live the good part. The good part is now.
Midlife isn’t a pause. It’s the green light.
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